...I would if I could! I mean I really want too, I want to cry inconsolably but the tears won't come.
Why? Well, the degree of disrespect and absurdness of the separation (leading to divorce) has been turned WAAYYYY UP. I think for nothing more than a reaction from me and since I won't react, he just keeps kicking it up a notch.
I want to cry to release the pinned up emotion but I can't. I don't know why the tears won't come but they won't. I want to cry like...this guy (For all of you that have viewed this clip before you know that it is a long clip so here is the abbreviated version):
Or like this:
So, instead of sitting home trying to cry I went to the library and checked out Drunk, Divorced, & Covered in Cat Hair: The True-life Misadventures of a 30-something Who Learned to Knit After He Split By Laurie Perry. I am hoping to find the humor in this situation instead of wallowing in the sadness.
I am on Chapter 22 of the book and I love it. I can relate to only some of it but it...is comforting my soul somehow. Maybe in my head I'm thinking "I'm glad I didn't do that" or "Dang, I should have done that" either way I can't put it down.
In reading this book I have found out a few thing about myself:
1. I have been trying to put my feelings into words and I can't seem too but she did
Page 77:
It is peculiar to be in your (mid-)thirties,becoming more divorced by the minute, and trying to figure out who you are as a person. Thinking back on your life and trying to pinpoint exactly where you turned left, detoured, went too fast or not fast enough...Remembering why it was so important for you to be married, always married.
2. I think I am on the "Divorce Diet".
Page79
When most folks go through a divorce they join gyms and go on diets and lose weight; I guess that's what they refer to as The Divorce Diet. it's all about looking your best in the face of adversity because getting thin is the best revenge.
I have always has the inept ability to look great on the outside and be a complete mess on the inside. It's what I do or did, I don't know yet. I'm not saying that I always have it together 'cause I don't but I have been a complete mess more than people may have realized. I think that is why I had the problem Saturday night.
I will NOT bow my head!
I will actually hold it a little higher; especially considering some of my creativity is coming back. I am loving my hair right now and the fact that I am doing things to it (other than my sorry puff and twist-out)makes me wanna hold it high. Peep the pics below:
Why? Well, the degree of disrespect and absurdness of the separation (leading to divorce) has been turned WAAYYYY UP. I think for nothing more than a reaction from me and since I won't react, he just keeps kicking it up a notch.
I want to cry to release the pinned up emotion but I can't. I don't know why the tears won't come but they won't. I want to cry like...this guy (For all of you that have viewed this clip before you know that it is a long clip so here is the abbreviated version):
Or like this:
So, instead of sitting home trying to cry I went to the library and checked out Drunk, Divorced, & Covered in Cat Hair: The True-life Misadventures of a 30-something Who Learned to Knit After He Split By Laurie Perry. I am hoping to find the humor in this situation instead of wallowing in the sadness.
I am on Chapter 22 of the book and I love it. I can relate to only some of it but it...is comforting my soul somehow. Maybe in my head I'm thinking "I'm glad I didn't do that" or "Dang, I should have done that" either way I can't put it down.
In reading this book I have found out a few thing about myself:
1. I have been trying to put my feelings into words and I can't seem too but she did
Page 77:
It is peculiar to be in your (mid-)thirties,becoming more divorced by the minute, and trying to figure out who you are as a person. Thinking back on your life and trying to pinpoint exactly where you turned left, detoured, went too fast or not fast enough...Remembering why it was so important for you to be married, always married.
2. I think I am on the "Divorce Diet".
Page79
When most folks go through a divorce they join gyms and go on diets and lose weight; I guess that's what they refer to as The Divorce Diet. it's all about looking your best in the face of adversity because getting thin is the best revenge.
I have always has the inept ability to look great on the outside and be a complete mess on the inside. It's what I do or did, I don't know yet. I'm not saying that I always have it together 'cause I don't but I have been a complete mess more than people may have realized. I think that is why I had the problem Saturday night.
I will NOT bow my head!
I will actually hold it a little higher; especially considering some of my creativity is coming back. I am loving my hair right now and the fact that I am doing things to it (other than my sorry puff and twist-out)makes me wanna hold it high. Peep the pics below:
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